“I thought for third season, it’ll be easier going into and coming out of that character, but [it clearly wasn’t]. I found myself spiralling down once again. In Golu’s life, there’s no good day because there are too many negative feelings – revenge, hatred and regret. Bahut dard hai uski life mein. A character like this in real life wouldn’t be termed as normal. That’s why, I feel Golu is the most challenging character that I‘ve done or met in my acting journey.”
The actor reveals that more than playing Golu onscreen, it was tougher to come out of it.
She elaborates, “It started affecting me a lot and there were time when I started behaving how she would do. My body language changed. I’d respond to Golu more than Shweta, and there came a point when I had to go to my DOP and director and request them not to call me Golu.”
The actor further shares that she even took help to deal with this whole scenario. “I spoke to my counsellor friend when I realised ki yeh ab bohot bhaari padg raha hai. Main bohot khoyi khoyi rehti thi. Even when I was with my loved ones, I used to be in a different space altogether,” confesses the actor.
It took Sharma some time to realise that an actor might get into a character for professional reasons, “But you have to get out of it for professional as well as personal reasons. When I say personal, I mean that I don’t want Golu to influence my choices. And professionally, I have to play other parts, too. So I have to come back to neutral.”
Having been through this journey, the Masaan (2015) and Haramkhor (2017) actor is now aware that it’s important for an actor to understand where a character is coming from, and go to its roots, but also not forget your own well-being.
“That’s what makes you a better actor. More than that, it’s important to care for yourself,” she continues, “I love my characters, but I also love myself. I had to bring myself back to reality. When I saw myself on screen in third season of Mirzapur, I saw a completely different girl. It’s not Shweta. and I loved seeing that. I’ll do this again because I love the process. It’s just that one has to be careful and make conscious efforts to remember that what you are in real life has nothing to do with the characters you play.”