Oh, Florida.
In a story that feels more like the start of a stand-up set than a legitimate news report, TSA just had to remind travelers, again, to please stop hiding animals in bizarre places before going through airport security. Yes, this is real life.
A woman at Miami International Airport was recently caught trying to sneak two live turtles… in her bra. One of them was wrapped in plastic. The other? Medical tape. (I wish I were joking.)
Unsurprisingly, TSA’s advanced imaging technology picked up on the “anomaly,” and after a quick inspection, officers found the smuggled reptiles. Sadly, one turtle didn’t survive the ordeal. The other was handed over to Florida Fish and Wildlife. TSA posted their exasperated (and slightly hilarious) plea on social media, urging people to “travel with pets—safely—and not hidden underneath your clothing.”
And that is not all.
Earlier this year, another passenger at Newark Liberty Airport attempted to smuggle a live turtle through security… in his pants.
The body scanner flagged something in the man’s groin area, prompting a pat-down. When asked what he had hidden, the man pulled out a five-inch red-eared slider turtle wrapped in a small blue towel. According to TSA, the man said it was his pet.
He was immediately escorted out of the checkpoint by Port Authority police and missed his flight. It’s unclear if he’ll face any legal consequences, but the turtle was confiscated and, thankfully, appeared to be unharmed.
As Thomas Carter, TSA’s Federal Security Director for New Jersey, put it: “We’ve seen travelers try to conceal knives and other weapons; however, I believe this is the first time we have come across someone who was concealing a live animal down the front of his pants.”
I mean… what more is there to say?
What You Actually Can Do If You’re Traveling with a Pet
TSA is not anti-animal. In fact, they allow small pets through security—if you follow the rules. Here’s what to know:
Small pets are allowed through checkpoints, but they must be removed from their carrier and carried through the scanner (as in, literally in your arms—not strapped to your chest like a reptilian underwire).
Always check with your airline about their specific pet policies before flying.
Some animals—especially exotic or protected species like turtles—may require permits or may not be allowed at all.
Be transparent. Declare your animal and carry it in a TSA-approved carrier.
Not only is this the right thing to do for your pet’s safety, but smuggling animals can also land you in serious legal trouble. We’re talking fines, criminal charges, and being banned from flying.
So, whether you’re traveling with pets, packing a carry-on, or just trying to make it through security without incident, it pays to know the rules before you fly. From recent TSA changes that could actually make your airport experience easier to the surprising in-flight mistake that might land you a fine, staying informed is key. And if you’re worried about your bags making