Sep. 27—KINGSTON — My good buddy Bob Shivy was put to eternal rest on Saturday, and it was an emotional service.
His family asked me to deliver Bob’s eulogy, and I did — although I struggled to keep my composure.
I think it’s important for everyone to know who Bob was and what kind of soul he was. Here is what I said to those gathered in St. Ignatius Church:
I am here to talk about my dear friend, Robert Shivy.
He was our classmate, our friend, and our “fun guy” — Bob had a shirt with a mushroom on it, hence the “fungi/fun guy” reference.
Of all the 692 members of the Wyoming Valley West Class of 1968, there is one classmate that most would remember above all — Bob Shivy.
Without a doubt.
Bob was one of the most likable, irrepressible people I have ever met. I considered him a dear friend, and I will forever value his friendship and great knowledge.
In other words, I learned a great deal from Bob — and it was a continuous process.
Bob really never ceased to amaze me — he had a total recall memory. He was a human version of Google.
There were many special moments with Bob, especially when he was around his high school classmates. He could tell you off the top of his head your date of birth, your childhood address and phone number, and he could give more details about just about everything with uncanny accuracy.
I once asked Bob if he had a computer at home.
He said, “The only computer I need is right up here,” pointing to his head.
Bob cooked his own meals, patiently pieced together jigsaw puzzles and attended Mass every day.
Bob Shivy sure was special.
Yes, Bob Shivy was a very special human being. But let’s not confuse that term — “special.”
What sort of special person was Bob Shivy?
Well, a person’s specialness is a combination of inherent uniqueness — positive character traits like kindness, integrity and compassion — and their unique impact and influence on others.
What makes someone special is ultimately subjective, but it often includes qualities that make them feel valued, accepted and deeply understood by others.
That’s what I wanted Bob to appreciate — that he was valued, accepted and very deeply understood by others.
Special people like Bob Shivy possess positive character traits — qualities such as honesty, reliability, integrity, courage and responsibility are often seen as making a person special.
Bob Shivy was all that kind of special.
Bob also had compassion and empathy. He constantly showed concern for others’ well-being, and he had a sincere, genuine understanding of their feelings.
Bob Shivy was also an intellectual with great emotional depth. Bob was thoughtful, self-reflective, and he could see beyond the surface of situations.
Bob Shivy also had passion and drive — a strong sense of purpose and he worked diligently toward goals each and every day.
Whether it was to get to Mass every morning, or shop for groceries, or cook his own meals, or to call all — and I do stress all — of his dear friends to wish them “Happy holidays” or “Happy New Year,” or “Happy birthday,” or just to ask how you were doing.
Bob Shivy accepted each of us for who we are, and he loved each of us in a genuine, unconditional way.
Although I’m afraid all of us didn’t always reciprocate at the same level, Bob never hesitated in his complete acceptance of us and who we are — he loved all of us and made us feel, well, special.
Bob Shivy did his very best to make all of us feel special — just by calling us or sending all those cards. He had his own very special way of making others feel valued.
The ability to make others feel important, happy and fully accepted contributes significantly to someone’s specialness.
Bob Shivy was that kind of special.
We can only hope that Bob set an example for all of us to follow — to inspire others to be kinder or more compassionate.
It is the absolute truth that Bob Shivy was unique. And being one-of-a-kind and having unique experiences shaped his individual perspective — he made us feel that we were irreplaceable.
Turns out, Bob Shivy is the one who is irreplaceable.
Personally, Bob Shivy became special to me because he made me feel special in a world of not all special people — he actually helped me find meaning in my life.
Let me say that the profound impact a person has on the world or on the lives of others can be a defining aspect of their specialness.
That said, Bob Shivy really was the most special person of all.”
Godspeed, my special friend.
Reach Bill O’Boyle at 570-991-6118 or on Twitter @TLBillOBoyle.