BBCThe former Archbishop of Wales has told the BBC that his decision to retire was the right one for himself and the Church.
Speaking to BBC Radio Cymru’s Bwrw Golwg, Andrew John said the decision had affected him.
“It has been very painful and my mental health has suffered in a way I’ve never experienced before, but that’s a consequence of having to make big decisions,” he said.
He announced he was retiring with immediate effect just over a week ago after the publication of the summaries of two critical reports mentioned “a culture in which sexual boundaries seemed blurred”, excessive alcohol consumption, as well as governance and safeguarding weaknesses at Bangor Cathedral.
While there is no suggestion the archbishop behaved inappropriately, the church’s representative body had said there must be a “change in leadership, procedures and governance in the Diocese of Bangor”.
After the publication of the summaries, he had faced criticism and calls to stand down, with calls for an independent inquiry into the diocese.
The archbishop, who will also step down as Bishop of Bangor next month, said he had little choice but to go.
“Being present at the meeting and [to] have people more or less calling for your resignation was like being in a nightmare,” he said.
“I know the people who were in that meeting.
“I don’t think I had a chance to explain the changes we’ve made and how complicated things are, but having heard from them I don’t want to be a problem for them either.
“I think it’s a good decision for the future.”
He said he did not feel he had the opportunity to emphasise the improvements which had already been made and regretted not being more open with the press to explain what was happening.
The former archbishop said it was difficult, given the church needed to show whistleblowers it was treating what they said in confidence.
He said he did not know about the “drinking culture” around the choir in Bangor Cathedral.
“The idea that they went out after important services, that they went out until late saddens me,” he said.
“It gives a bad impression of the diocese. It was a shock to hear about heavy drinking in the diocese.”
He said allegations of people making inappropriate jokes around children were “unacceptable” and that changes in culture were necessary.
He acknowledged financial mismanagement had been a problem and that a “lot of mistakes had been made”.
But said he was not unhappy that about £20,000 had been spent on two trips to Rome and one to Dublin.
“I’m not unhappy, because the diocese decided to have those three trips,” he said.
“It’s not extravagant with 20 people travelling.”
‘These things happened under my watch’
He admitted he had not paid enough attention to the cathedral, but said that was down to his role as archbishop, which meant taking on wider interests.
When asked what his biggest regret was, he said not ensuring there was a structure in place in the cathedral to deal with some of the issues and that he had been part of the problem.
“It pains me that these things happened under my watch and I’ll have to live with that,” he said.
“Bangor is a fantastic diocese.
“The damage done to the diocese, because I didn’t pay enough attention to problems, is a burden I’ll carry.”
He said he thought change would take years, but that the church would have to work together to ensure that change happened.
He said he did not feel he had been mistreated, but added he had been shocked by some of the comments directed towards him on social media.
“It’s been very difficult to see what people are saying on social media.
“I’m a bishop and a leader in the church, these things have happened during my tenure, so it’s only right to give someone else the opportunity to take responsibility for the future.”